10/19/13

There are a lot of things in my life I don't want to think about,alot of problems and past scars I don't want to revisit. People can only have so many bad things happen to them before they start to to think God is doing it on purpose.Which causes you to wonder what the hell you did to get this sort of Karma.My life as it is right now isnt horriable. I have a place to live and a friend that loves me,that should be enough right? I just feel sort of...insignificant. 2 years ago I never would have thought Id be this person. I thought I would do something with my life. Graduate,go to college,make friends and maybe even meet someone. That isnt how my story went. I am who I am now because of my failures. I can blame my mother all I like but in the end it was the cards I was delt. I hate the look people give me when I say I am getting my GED,they look at me like I am a disapointment,a waste. Like I am a fuck up and there is no way to correct it. I hate it. It makes me feel like nothing. I feel like nothing. I wake up every day knowing this is not MY life. This is HER LIFE. I am just a tag along and its awful. I want to BE something,but I feel like it will never happen. Its hard to be positive with so much of the things I want around me,but they are not mine. I feel like a fake. I dont belong here,but I want to. I dont want to be a failure.